Hope

I am in an especially reflective mood this morning. I woke up to news about Bin Laden. Now I am sure just hearing his name brings about a visceral reaction in you, it does for me. My sweet first born was just under a month old snuggling in my arms as I watched a plane hit the second tower on that blue-skied, fateful day. My astonishment was followed by helplessness. How, in a world gone crazy, was I going to keep my precious baby safe?

William will be 10 years old in august. There have been scrapes and bruises, tears and turmoil. But the blessings abound and as another hatch mark records inches grown, I exhale just a little bit. He is safe, in this moment. So we, as a family, have learned to enjoy our moments. They are not like the moments of ’01, desperate, sad and frightened. These are more luxurious and hopeful, much like planting and tending a garden.

Gardening and life have so many overlapping lessons, reminding me of the important stuff requiring my attention. Beyond the basic needs of food, clothing and shelter reside the juicy bits of life. I would like to say I have always known what is really important. But I have been off track in my life more times than I care to rehash. And the juicy bits of my youth were immediate, self satisfying and surface fun. In this moment of my life though, I am really sinking my teeth into my own experiences and wringing every last drop of out of it. Not that I don’t enjoy a selfish occasion now and again.

Starting a garden has helped me on this path; Watching which vegetables are thriving, how to make use of every part of the plant and the joy on my children’s faces as they snap peas right off the vine for a snack. I have had setbacks and serendipitous successes, some with my green-ish thumb, others from neglect. All of this informing me along the way and reminding me about resilience in all living things. Much like tracking Will and Elise as they move through the world; did they eat enough, sleep enough? After a particularly bad meltdown…what can I do better next time? Or the pure joy of witnessing them master a new skill. Elise is a mad woman on her bike right now, no fear! And William has logged a ton of hours on a 70’s style skateboard learning to lean into a turn.

Being a parent and a gardener are helping me become more resilient. I am still pretty sensitive but surviving each challenge better equips me to carry on. Both my children and garden show me how a bit of time and energy reap tremendous rewards. Watching a seed sprout up through the soil and become a carrot or lettuce, has made me more hopeful. As does dreaming about what life has in store for my two amazing children.

All of these thoughts and emotions are with me today. Hope seems to rise above it all; A hope for peace and safety in the wake of this confusing news.