common sense or not

Common sense: to have sound judgment, be reasonable. Well, let’s just say I haven’t always been prudent in my decision making. Fun in my 20’s isn’t the same at this age (a lady never tells!).

College was my first, big stumbling block when it came time to incorporating sage advice into my life and balancing immediate temptations with long term goals. I ended up at a community college (called the thirteenth grade in our area) because I didn’t want to hear any advice. Seeing all the kids who also had a bit more fun in high school than necessary, seemed a bit of a joke to me, especially when all over the country, college campuses were teeming with fun. The joke was on me. I left after 2 and a half non- consecutive semesters.

During this time, I did learn some very important lessons. Being ashamed of my failure, lead me to try and avoid questions about “where are you going to school?” like the plague. Sometimes I would quip about going to the “school of life”. I really wasn’t far off; bartending is its own brand of education. Usually, if I was speaking to a grown-up, they would press the point and I would have to confess. Learning there was a time for humor and a time to be forthright. Balancing the two can sometimes be tricky. Just think of a time when you thought something was a light-hearted joke but a friend didn’t.

Another moment of ego- filled ineptness came with the birth of my first child. I had read all the books. Thought I knew everything, much to my own chagrin, I didn’t! And if any one offered guidance, I took it as a slight against my abilities. Thankfully, I needed help more than I needed to be right. A very important lesson, indeed.

Now as a lady with some road behind me, I soak in as much guidance, information and humor as possible. I stumble all the time; in parenting, with friends or family and especially, in the garden. Even though I am purportedly a balance sign (if you follow that kind of stuff), my equilibrium is often shaky. But just like a plant rooted in the wrong spot grows towards the light, I also try to right my wrongs. Take last year’s tomato plants, for example. They grew out of control. Big, beautiful and jungle-like but hardly any harvest. Needless to say, I am devouring any information I can get my hands on to take better care of my small, promising plants. And our lettuce this year is way too close together. But my merry helpers scattered the seeds, and I went along for the ride instead of needing to be right. And my cilantro has taken over the joint, not sure at all what to do about this territorial creeper.

Now instead of being ashamed of my mistakes, I am embracing them and doing my best to find the message. We shall see how I do.